Dear Simplicity,
My wife has started calling her ex-boyfriend her "emotional support friend" and insists on having weekly brunches with him. I’m not a jealous person, but this feels weird. How do I express my discomfort without coming off as controlling?
Dear Brunching with the Ex,
Oh, honey, where do I even begin? Your wife’s new “emotional support friend” sounds like a delightful plot twist in the soap opera of your life. I mean, who wouldn’t want their partner to have brunch with their ex? It’s practically the definition of marital bliss, right? Insert eye roll here.
First off, let’s put on our Sherlock Holmes hats and investigate this “emotional support friend” situation. I mean, is she auditioning for a role in a romantic comedy? Because if so, I need to know who’s writing this script. Why does her ex get the VIP treatment? Did he win the emotional support lottery? Is he the only guy in town who can provide her with the warm fuzzies? I’m just saying, if brunching with an ex is the answer, I’d hate to see what the question was.
Now, let’s talk about how to express your discomfort without coming off like the world’s biggest control freak. You could try something like, “Hey, love, I think it’s adorable that you’re finding ways to support your emotional well-being, but can we discuss this brunch situation? It’s giving me major ‘what’s happening here?’ vibes.” Because nothing says “I trust you” like a side of passive-aggressiveness, am I right?
Now, brace yourself for the inevitable backlash. You know she’s going to hit you with the classic “You’re just being insecure” line. Oh, the irony! Because nothing screams confidence like having weekly brunches with someone who’s already been in your pants. But hey, you’re not asking her to cut him off completely (yet). You’re just suggesting that maybe, just maybe, sharing avocado toast with an ex isn’t the best idea since ever.
If she rolls her eyes and insists on keeping this brunch bonanza going, it might be time to whip out the big guns and set some boundaries. You could suggest something like, “How about we invite him over for dinner? That way, I can join the fun and keep an eye on the emotional support shenanigans.” Because nothing says “healthy relationship” like a little surveillance, right?
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, communication is key, darling. Just remember to keep it light, but firm. If she truly values your feelings, she’ll understand where you’re coming from. If not, well, congratulations! You’ve just entered the “I might need my own emotional support friend” phase of your life—preferably one who doesn’t have a history with your wife.
Good luck and may the brunch gods have mercy on your soul!