Dear Simplicity,

Dear Simplicity,

My husband has recently taken up extreme couponing and refuses to pay full price for anything, including gifts. For our anniversary, I got a box of half-off protein bars. How do I tell him that romance can’t always be found in the clearance aisle?

Dear Half-Off Heartbreak,

Oh, darling, where do I even begin? Your husband’s extreme couponing sounds like the romantic equivalent of a flat tire on a road trip. I mean, who needs candlelit dinners and heartfelt gifts when you can have a box of half-off protein bars? Nothing says “I love you” quite like a snack that’s been sitting in the clearance aisle since last year. Insert dramatic sigh here.

First off, let’s acknowledge that your husband has officially joined the circus of extreme couponing. Who knew that saving a few cents could become a full-time job? I can just picture him, cape on, ready to swoop in and save the day at the grocery store while you’re left wondering if you accidentally married a financial superhero or a romance villain.

Now, how do you break it to him that romance doesn’t come with a coupon code? You could try something along the lines of, “Sweetheart, I absolutely adore your commitment to frugality, but can we agree that for our anniversary, maybe we leave the protein bars in the pantry?” Because nothing says “I cherish you” like a heartfelt chat about how your love life shouldn’t resemble a clearance rack at a discount store.

Get ready for the inevitable “But I saved us so much money!” defense. Oh, the irony! Because nothing screams romance like a gift that costs less than your morning coffee. You might want to remind him that while saving money is great, it’s not exactly the same as showering you with affection. If he thinks a box of protein bars is a suitable substitute for romance, he might as well start planning your next anniversary dinner at the local dumpster.

If he insists on sticking to his couponing crusade, it might be time to lay down the law. You could suggest a compromise: “How about we save the coupons for boring stuff like toilet paper and splurge a little on actual gifts for special occasions?” Because let’s be honest, if your anniversary gift is a box of protein bars, you might as well get him a coupon for a one-way ticket to the couch.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, you deserve to feel like a queen on your anniversary, not like you just stumbled into a budget-friendly snack aisle. So, have that chat, sprinkle in some sarcasm, and remind him that love isn’t about how much you save; it’s about how much you’re willing to invest in each other’s happiness.

Good luck, and may your future anniversaries be filled with more than just protein bars and discount tags!